I signed up for the alcohol experiment on sat . By Annie grace and my start day was yesterday . So today I am on day two .
I have also continued reading my quit lit . I am reading a book about the steps of aa . The first step being ” we admitted we were powerless over alcohol – our lives had become unmanageable ” .
It went on to say that the obsession of the problem drinker is being able to drink like a normal person . And that they will set rules, ie no drinking before six , not through the week etc that they all break . It says that many people are stuck at this stage for years .
This seems so true for me . I have spent so much time And energy figuring out how I could drink normally as I couldn’t bear the thought of never drinking again .
But something has shifted . I am starting to accept and need to keep working on my acceptance that I just can’t drink because I do not drink like a normal person . I have had years of trying and it just doesn’t work . Once I start I can’t stop . I have no off button and despite years of trying to develop one it has not happened . Whether I change my drink , alternate with water , all my intentions go out of the window . It does not work . And all the rules I set I break . Only drink when I’m out , lasted two days , only drink gin and no wine , lasted a week . Don’t drink before six pm , oh well it’s half five so close enough . I Cannot moderate . I can’t . So I’m working on step one . I get it . I think it’s finally dawning on me …..
That’s awesome – well done! You’ve described me completely, by the way, with the failure to moderate or find that off switch. Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind is great – I read it a few months into my recovery and it really cemented how I’d come to see booze. Big hugs, Anna ❤️
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Thanks so much xxx big hugs to you xx
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Best AA book ever is “Recovery “ by Russell Brand. I’m stuck in the rule making phase. 😦
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Ok I’ll have a look at that xxxx
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Sounds like good steps you’re taking! Have you ever read the book Alcohol Explained? Understanding the chemistry of alcohol consumption on the brain/sleep/attempts to moderate/etc. can be really helpful. https://www.amazon.com/Alcohol-Explained-William-Porter-ebook/dp/B00W4D1YW4
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Annie interviewed the author once on her podcast, too, a conversation that I really enjoyed.
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Ah did she . It’s amazing what sticks in your mind and I think I had s penny dropped moment ❤️
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